Update on Grace, Wednesday, Aug 18

Wednesday. Latest update 7:00 PM.

2:00 PM - When I arrived at Grace's room about 10 this morning, Grace was sitting upright on the edge of her bed, with both feet on the floor. Wow, seems like progress.

The therapist was in there with her, and she was sitting between the left and right bedrails, which were more or less bracing her upright.

I asked the therapist if I should come back in a few minutes, and she said yes, they were just about done. So I left, the therapist shut the door, and I walked around the corridors of the hospital for about 10 minutes, arriving back at Grace's room just as the therapist was leaving Grace's room. She said, "You can go in now."

Grace was lying back in the bed, looking somewhat exhausted. But as soon as she saw me come in, she said, "David, how's Jan feeling?" It was wonderful that she remembered from Bill telling her last night that Jan was home, sick with a bug.

(By the way, Jan's MUCH better today. Not totally 100%, but definitely much improved from yesterday. Yes, she went back to work today.)

I explained that Jan was much better today, and had gone back to work, and I noticed that grace seemed to be in some pain. So I asked if she was, and she said yes. I guess that's to be expected, with her having just finished a session with the therapist.

But I said to her, "Oh, Grace! I really wish I could help with that! But I'm not your doctor, I can't help with that, but I can visit you and bring you things and read to you, the cards and letters that come..." and she gave me a radiant smile and told me she was happy that I came to see her.

I had brought a few cards that came yesterday, and I brought her those and read them to her. She really enjoyed hearing them. Much more today, I believe, than other days.

Each day, it seems, brings a bit more recovery from that wretched remnant of anesthetic fog that still shrouds part of her mind. We're praying for it to leave completely soon.

We talked some about how Jan and I had cleaned up tons of clutter in the living room, to get ready for the shower last Sunday, and how I had played "Guess What I Found!" again. Grace smiled, remembering that she and I had many episodes of that "Guess What I Found!?" game when we were cleaning out her house after Snick died. There were many funny things we found. If any of you are interested, please let me know and I can recount some of them here. But I said this on purpose, to bring up that time, when we were cleaning out the house in Fort Lauderdale. Grace smiled, recognizing the oft-used phrase, but nevertheless, I said, "You remember how you and I were playing 'Guess What I Found' when we were cleaning out your house seven years ago." I said it as a statement, but she nodded with recognition, and I went on, "...as we cleaned it out to sell it. And we sold it for a pretty good price." I was, of course, hoping to trigger her memory about why we sold the house.

Then I located the folder containing all the cards, emails, and letters that had come earlier, some while she was still sleeping, and I read a few of those to her. When we finish reading one, we put it in the baack of the folder, and when we pick one to read, we pick it from the front. That's just so we don't wind up reading the same ones over and over again.

After reading about three cards, I came to the newsletter from Sunset Presbyterian Church, which is the church Grace attended for more than 50 years when she lived in Fort Lauderdale. It's the church where Jan and I were married. Grace is still very involved with most of the people there, knowing all the names mentioned in the newsletter.

The newsletter editor, Marie, is one of Grace's best friends, so Marie makes sure Grace gets every issue of the newsletter. Needless to say, Grace immensely enjoys every issue, as it's one of the main ways she keeps up with the goings-on of many of her friends still in Fort Lauderdale.

I read most of that issue to her, and she was smiling and nodding that she understood each article and knew each of the people. Then I got to the last page of the newsletter, and saw it was a full page story Grace had submitted, a story by Edna Ellison. The story was so poignant and touching that halfway through reading the story, I had tears pouring down my face.

It was such a good story, that when I got home, I looked it up, and I found it on the internet! Now you can read it, too. Just keep a tissue handy.

Read it by clicking: Magnolias

After I'd finished the story and put away the folder and the other things I'd brought (including a CUPCAKE from Shelley's baby shower last Sunday!), I prayed with Grace, and then left to go have lunch with Jan.

Just as I was going out the door, Grace said, "David, I still haven't seen Snick! If you see him, would you PLEASE tell him to come see me?"

Sigh.

I turned back and put my hand on her good ankle. "Grace," I said, "soon, I hope, you'll understand and remember why it was I was down in Fort Lauderdale helping you to clean out and sell the house." She frowned gently, more in puzzlement than frustration, but there was a small measure of frustration in the look as well. Then I told her I had to go meet Jan for lunch, and left.

This afternoon when I visit, I might just go ahead and face the issue with her. Jan and I are thinking it might be hurting her more to think that Snick is intentionally not coming to see her than it would to know what really happened.

We've been praying about this, and we definitely can use your prayers on this as well. Prayers not only that I might find just the right words, loving and kind, to help Grace come back to the present, but also prayers that Grace might receive the "news" without having to go through the entire grieving process again. We don't want her to have to do that. But we don't want her to give up, either, or to get depressed.

I believe prayer here is the best answer. Thank you for yours at this time.

I'll post more after the afternoon visit.

****************************

7:00 PM - When Jan got home from work today, she and I and Bill all piled in the car to go see Grace. We had pretty much decided we were going to tell her about Snick. We've figured that the pain of learning this, which is inevitable in any case, would not be as bad as her thinking now that Snick is avoiding her, or worse, rejecting her.

However, when we got there, it soon became obvious that she had fairly recently had a pain pill, because even though she was eating dinner when we arrived, she was pretty much zoned out.

The good news is that it looks like that facility has pretty decent food, and plenty of it. Grace's meal was a square piece of fried fish, mac and cheese, green beans, a roll, a cup of fresh fruit, a carton of milk, a styrofoam cup of iced tea, a 6-oz plastic container of apple juice, and an insulated hospital drink cup of ice chips. I think I got everything.

When we arrived, Grace was eating some of the mac and cheese, and while we were there, she ate most of the fruit, a few more bites of the mac and cheese, and a couple bites of green beans. She ate very slowly, in small bites, but she kept at it until she was full, then she asked Bill to move the rolling table away.

The entire time we were there, it was almost a competition for her attention, between the food, the TV, and us visitors.

We would talk to her, then ask her a question, and it would take a few seconds before the question would register enough to get an answer.

For example, I asked her if she wanted me to cut up her fish cake for her. She carefully put her fork down, shifted her attention to stare at the fish cake for two seconds, then looked at me and shook her head, mouthing "No" with no sound.

She could process the questions, and answer them coherently, but it just took longer than usual. That's what I meant by zoned out, and why I believe she had recently had a pain pill.

Because she was so out of it, we all decided this wasn't the time to talk to her about Snick.

More good news, though: they have removed the jugular IV catheter. This was the IV feed through which they had been feeding her intravenously and administering medications when needed. But that has now been removed, and she had a bandage on her neck where it used to be.

We also noticed there were NO IV hookups or drip bags of any kind, which is great news, because it means she is taking nourishment and liquids as she should be.

She did, however, still have an IV hookup in her hand, but it was a dead-end, not hooked up to anything at all. They are leaving that in for now so they can administer medications and draw blood samples without having to stick her repeatedly.

We read her a card that had come today, and she was glad to hear it, but not saying much.

We also checked out the policy on children visitors. We were confused, because the literature they gave us said children under 12 were permitted but must be accompanied at all times by a parent, but there was a sign in the lobby that said children under 12 were not allowed at all. We found a staffer (nurse?) who explained to us that children's immune systems are not fully developed, and with all the pathogens around a hospital, children as visitors are at higher risk than adults. So their policy was more to protect the children than the patients. Their policy now is that children under 12 ARE permitted, but they want the parents to fully understand the risks before they bring their children into the hospital.

We told Grace a bit about this, telling her that Sarah and Chad MIGHT be able to bring Katie to see her, and that got the biggest smile all evening.

However, for the most part, Grace just wasn't herself tonight, so we gave her some hugs and bid her goodnight.

Please continue to pray about how best to resolve this situation with telling Grace about Snick, or leading her to remember it, and pray for her strength to get through the revelation.

VISITORS Okay Now! I believe that Grace is now to the point that she would enjoy having a few visitors, and seeing some of her friends. She's in the Select Specialty Hospital, room 112. I'll put this information on the Contents page as well, right under the list of daily postings. She still doesn't have the phone hooked up in her room, but we're thinking we probably could have that done in the next day or two.

I'm going to go visit Grace early tomorrow, but then I have a few appointments before I'll have a chance to get back here to tell you about it. But I will be here.

Grace is making progress, some every day. Thank you, Lord. But we need to continue our prayers.

I'll have more for you tomorrow. Take care, all.

***********************